success, sort of!

last summer i outgrew my favorite summer pants. the first time i tried to put them on, i was shocked when they came up to the tops of my tree trunks and no further. i swore i'd diet as soon as i got home from myrtle beach in june, but we all know that didn't happen. so the last memory i have of me and summer pants frolicking together is my family's 2011 disney trip. i remember because it was so many thousands of degrees i sweated clear through them until they looked like pee-pee pants. so when i started this version of my diet, i tried to pull them on to see just how far i had to go. the news was bleak. 

so, my first small goal has been to be able to wear summer pants to disney next week. i tried them "on" three weeks ago and still had a good three inches to go til closure. but on a whim i tried again just now and houston, we have full closure. now....let us not speak of the slight muffin top they produce, but i know my summer pants, and after 20 minutes in the humidity, they'll be loosey goosey, footloose and fancy free. for the first time, i can FEEL my progress. i can see it on the scale but i keep thinking, "that's water. it's probably all of my muscles dying. maybe i pooped out a kidney when i wasn't looking." but no, now summer pants have proven that something is actually happening to my body. 

not to seem greedy, but right when i started the diet i went to the fancy secondhand store that only takes the good stuff. there was a cuuuuuuuuute shirt that i so badly wanted to wear this summer, but it too was 10 pounds too small. so i thought. i have tried that thing on 10 times i think. so i gave it a test drive with summer pants and the result was....eh. based on what OTHER people will be wearing at disney, i definitely could wear it, probably without getting talked about by strangers. but i think i'd be so self conscious i'd spend the whole day fussing over my shirt, stretching it out, blousing it up and down, sucking in my stomach. not worth it. so, new goal--it's white and blue, so i want to throw a red necklace 'round muh neck and sport it for july 4th. i think if i can have success in nashville this weekend and disney next week, summer shirt just may fit. 

as far as my diet goes today, easy peasy. i had my atkins bar for breakfast, then i got all upset and pissed off, which makes me lose my appetite. so by the time i worked that out, it was 3:30 and i figured i may as well wait for dinner. i know, i know...but i'm pretty sure my body knows it's NOT starving. so my reward to me was chipotle. did you know you can get it as a salad, minus the rice? i had lettuce, chicken, hot and medium salsa, sour cream, cheese and guac. all for just over 500 calories and less than 20 carbs. i had a coconut milk ice cream bar for dessert and that's that. 

and now i'm hoping to stay awake til at least 10, then calling it a day. i work half a day tomorrow, then i'm off to chattanooga and nashville with the band til monday. so my next missive will come at you (i use the term "you" loosely, since no one knows this blog exists) monday evening after tops. here's hoping for a big loss!