Sunday, July 7, 2013

i'm still here!

i stink at this!!!

i am really, really going to try to be better about writing. but i just wanted to let anyone know who may still be following...i haven't disappeared because i've fallen off the wagon again; i've actually being doing great. i have lost weight every week since i started this edition of my diet. i am now down 33 pounds, which puts me 10 pounds below where i was when i started the juice diet and this blog. 17 more pounds, and i'll be halfway to my goal.

this weekend was good and bad. i'll start with the bad. i ate some dumb stuff. i tried so hard to be good, but on friday 3 small cookies went into my mouth. each started as "just a bite" and ended up being finished. then i came home and had a bowl of ice cream. REAL ice cream. ugh. today it was a brownie. i smooshed it into a ball and put it into my mouth telling myself, "it's only one bite." who did i think i was kidding?

but i also went without a lot of things. i didn't get any food at the festival, i didn't get candy or popcorn at the movie, i didn't have ice cream at the ice cream social today or at my brother's cookout later. i only had 2 bites of potato salad instead of the pile i wanted to scarf. i did more good than bad, but i wish i had been even more disciplined. because now at 11:30pm on sunday night, i don't feel happy about the brownie. i definitely wouldn't be sitting here saying "i wish i'd had it."

now for the good:

two things made me happy this weekend. one, my old underwear fit again. seriously, this is cause for celebration. i had about 20 pairs of ill-fitting underwear, and 6 pairs of ginormous granny panties i'd been forced to buy about 6 months ago when the others started falling down all the time. and any fatties know that underwear fall down more from being too small than too big. they just roll down the fat. i was terrified that somehow someone would see these monstrosities i've had on lately. when we were in florida i didn't want my sister to do my laundry even though she volunteered because i couldn't deal with her seeing that my underwear are the size of her shirts. so while i'm still not in victoria secret sizes, if my underwear got spotted by someone now, it wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to me.

second: a friend texted me after seeing some facebook photos from the weekend and asked if i have lost a lot of weight. it was my first "notice" from someone who didn't know i was dieting. and we all know those are the BEST kind. and that text turned into the past 2 hours of texting, and now she wants to join me on the journey. so i'm charging up my old ipod to give her and we're going to take a crack at C25K again, with the goal of running the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. the last time i tried to start it again, my feet felt like the bones were breaking. literally, i think i might have gotten a stress fracture. so i really hope my body will sustain me trying this one more time. i've been all the way through the program twice now...and have let all of my training go by the wayside both times. hopefully this time i can not only succeed at getting through it and running that 5k, but keep going.

so i've set my alarm for 6am, and i'm going to TRY to get up and go to the gym in the morning. we'll see. morning workouts are NOT my forte. AT. ALL. don't judge me if i don't make it. ok you can judge me, just do it silently.














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