well, the gym was a bust tonight. but i'm just happy i got myself there. i didn't leave my house until 7:41, and i was trying to find an excuse not to go for 2 hours prior. two nights ago i pushed myself to run for 12 minutes, which was just barely over a mile. considering my lack of training, i'll take that time for now. tuesday night i followed that with 2 minutes of walking, then 5 minute run intervals til i was over 2.5 miles. the idea was to come back tonight and do 3.1. cha right.
i'm going to attribute it to today being day 4 of my fat fast. i have had almost no carbs and very little protein since monday. 44 total carbs in 4 days. plus only 1000 calories per day. so i probably just don't have what i need in me to have a hardcore workout at this point. tomorrow will be the final day of the fat fast. to celebrate, i made low carb cheesecake cupcakes when i got home tonight. i could basically eat 10 of them as my food for the day. unfortunately they didn't turn out as well as the first time i made them. i had to use a different sweetener, and that's all i can come up with as a reason. even the consistency of the batter was far different. more like a pudding than a pancake batter consistency. odd.
so anyway, i only made it 1.65 miles tonight. i used everything i had running the 12 minute mile. i walked for 2 and then tried to run again but only lasted 2 minutes. my ankle was hurting and my body was telling me no. so i moved over to the circuit and used the 10 weight machines. i should have done two rounds, but i was spent.
the great part of the day was speaking to my grandma's TOPS group. i didn't plan what i was going to say, just went in and started talking. somehow it all came out of my mouth logically and semi-concisely. i hope i didn't confuse them or give them false hope. i didn't really want to get into what type of diet i'm on too much, fearful that they'd only hear "i eat cream, ranch, bacon and mayo" and start adding that to their grains and starches. but of course that was their main question, so i was honest and said it's very scientific, and very "all or nothing." but for ME, i need a plan that is very black and white. for the most part, you either absolutely can or absolutely cannot eat any given food item on a low-carb diet. MOST foods aren't "semi-low carb."
since i try to stick to the 20 or less per day idea, i basically think of myself as having $20 in my pocket each morning to spend on my food for the day. each carb is a dollar. so i ask myself, "is this low carb tortilla worth six of my 20 dollars?
the fat fast was very easy monday-wednesday. today i struggled a bit. i saw pictures of food everywhere, and i wanted it all. tomorrow the nursing home that makes the amazing cookies is bringing lunch to the radio station. that may be very hard. i'll try to get out of there during that time maybe.
on saturday i'll reintroduce more carbs and protein again to give me some strength for sunday's race. as of now, i have two more pounds to lose by monday in order to have a loss at tops. but i would REALLY like to lose 3.2, because then i'll officially be in the 150's. i need that so badly.
last night i mentioned that i'm making a big decision. obviously it's a half marathon, and there's a lot more to it than that, but this is already long so i will save the story for another blog. but if you could just close your eyes real tight and cross your fingers and your toes and wish as hard as you can for my wish to come true, i could really use the good vibes. i'm hoping and praying for something HUGE to happen on monday. but if it doesn't, i have a plan B.
i'll leave you with the collage i took to show the tops group of my start, finish, and a couple of in-betweens where i was feeling good about fitting into my clothes better. i wanted to fit into that flowered dress SO badly. i'd gotten it as a gift from my mom and barely fit into it one time, then outgrew it. so pic 1 is trying it on to see how far i had to go. disaster. but not too long after that i tried again and it fit perfectly! sadly, it just as quickly got too big!