Monday, November 18, 2013

a near miss.

after i wrote last night's entry, i decided to weigh myself to see what i was up against on the scale for tops tonight. it was so much worse than i thought. six pounds. can you even believe that? i told you what i ate. and yes, it was far more indulgent than usual, far more than necessary, but not THAT bad. especially considering i ran a 5k in the midst of it. the pancake was the only thing i even ate yesterday! so in a panic, i doubled up on my detox tea, which caused me to wake up at 1am suffering the consequences of that decision. sparing you the details, by 8am it was down to a four pound gain. i had lost 3 pounds after last week's weigh-in, which meant i needed to somehow take off 1.25 pounds between 8am and 5:30pm in order to show a loss on the tops scale tonight.

typically on weigh-in day, i drink black coffee and water and don't eat anything all day until i've been weighed. normally when i get home from work before the meeting, i'm down a half pound or a bit more from the morning weigh-in. not today, i was still exactly the same as this morning. i also normally go for a 1.5 mile run before the meeting, and the sweat drops me down another pound. i thought i'd just run a bit extra, and i'd drop that extra .25. so i went to the park and busted out 2.25 miles. came home, hopped onto the scale... it hadn't moved. not one ounce. NOT ONE! it had been too cold out, i didn't wear enough clothes, i didn't sweat! i got into the shower to clean up, and i started to cry. i worked REALLY hard last week. i lost THREE POUNDS! and then i blew it on cookies and free wine and tiny sandwiches. and hot chocolate and one marshmallow and a pumpkin pancake. but dammit, i also ran a 5k yesterday, over 2 miles today, i fasted for over 30 hours... how could that scale not move?

as i got dressed, i looked at the clock and saw i had 45 minutes until weigh-in was over. i put on a heavy sweatshirt, grabbed my iPod and inhaler, and got thine self to the gym, which is luckily very close to the tops meeting. i ran as hard as i could for 20 minutes in my heavy shirt, then flew to the meeting with 5 minutes left in weigh-in. on the way there i cranked the heat in my car as high as it would go and put my hoodie up to try to sweat out some more.

did i manage to sweat out 1.25 pounds?

yes. actually 1.50 pounds, because i lost 3/4 of a pound. in tops world, that counts. a loss is a loss, and i checked off week 9 of consecutive weigh-ins with losses. if i lose a half pound or more this week, i'll get my 70 pound charm and my 10-week consecutive charm at the december awards meeting.

what i did tonight was stupid, i think. it might sound like dedication, but it was a semi-dangerous, obsessive, last-ditch attempt to take off water weight in order to earn something that's meant to reward fat loss. yes, in the end, running over 3 miles again tonight will contribute to fat loss as well. but i made choices this weekend that sabotaged myself, and i should have just gone to tops and paid the price for it i think. and i would have, had i not been so close to that 10-week charm.

so that's the story of the day, folks. i'm hoping to see an actual loss in the morning after all of this though. it would be really nice to get back down to where i was on friday morning, before foodpocalypse happened. i have a new "decade" to get into on the scale, stat. i was almost there on friday.

not so close today. :-(


  1. I love and appreciate your honest Amy! Weight and health are sure an up and down journey and I am consistently inspired by your successes and your struggles. I think making the loss at your weigh in tonight was a good choice. It helps you stay on track to goals you have. You'll be on target this week and working extra hard for the next weigh in!!

    1. your comments always improve my day, jill. i hope you're finding success as well.

      after a day to think about it, i still don't condone the methods i used last night, but i do think if i had registered a gain at tops, i'd be in a very precarious position right now. in fact, i think i'll make that the topic of tonight's blog.

      have a wonderful evening! :-)