Monday, November 11, 2013

i'm overweight! HOORAY! (not. even. sarcasm.)

aaaaand, today this happened. in case the picture doesn't spell it out, i've dropped from "obese" to simply "overweight." that's right, slims....i'm an entirely different american statistic now! i'm only 35 pounds away from being NORMAL! i never thought i'd say this, but BEING OVERWEIGHT IS AMAZING! i've dropped my BMI 11.9 points. i wasn't just obese, i was morbidly obese. mor-bid-ly. now i'm just a regular old overweight chick, kicking ass and taking names. suck it, morbid obesity!

ok, now i think THAT is out of my system.

my tops weigh-in was pretty great too; i was down 3.5 pounds. one thing i've really needed is some new underwear. so i
decided i'd stop at victoria's secret on my way home. they were having a 7 for $26 sale, and i've always wished their smexy drawers would fit my big ass. having lost 3.5 on my birthday week AND becoming overweight seemed like reason enough to have a panty party. and party i did! here's my bag stuffed full of cuuuuuute new underpants, and they are not even size XL... they are L. that's right, not only am i only overweight, but i am only LARGE! now i can wear crap that says PINK on my butt, although i'll elect not to.

i really can't believe i am about to do this, but i think i should show you the granny panties i was wearing six months ago when i started this journey, along with a pair from tonight's panty raid. are you ready for this?

yeeeppp. my wide load filled up that potato sack with no problem. now i'm going to strut my stuff in these new polka dot beauties, just daydreaming about how if i got into an accident and they had to cut off my pants, the EMTs would gather around and marvel at my adorable underpants and exclaim, "why, they're only a size large! she's practically a victoria's secret angel!" and then they would of course save me, and one of the firefighters from the scene would take off his shirt and ask me on a date in my hospital bed.

ahem. yeah, so anyway, about my underwear. i really like them.

the other thing that happened was i went into the GAP. since high school i've said, "i want to wear GAP jeans. i'll feel normal when i fit into those." so i waltzed in there tonight for the first time in at least a decade, and boy what a dump that store has become. i found one remotely cute pair, and i had no frigging clue if they were my size because i shop like a normal person by sizes like 12, 14, 16, etc. and theirs are all "25...33...27..." ok, GAP, get over yourself. so i just grabbed a pair that looked about right and i went into the fitting room and buttoned and zipped them....and they looked stupid. too long, too frumpy. so i CAN wear GAP jeans, i just choose not to. maurice's has the best jeans, hands down.

so today i got to see my little niece, my boss left early, i got out of work early and got to see a friend i dearly love, i ran before tops, i became overweight, i had a big loss for the week, and i got a sack full of cute drawers. and for my grand finale, i fit into GAP jeans and rejected them instead of them rejecting me for the first time ever. i'm going to call today a HUGE win. like....a granny panties size win.

you guys. DO THIS. it'll get you high on underwear. don't give up, don't give in. you deserve cute underwear too.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations on being overweight! What a great accomplishment!
    LOVED the underware picture! As always, thanks for the inspiration!