don't even look at me.

i have had a bad day. there are tons of reasons, but a big one being that i clipped the bumper of my neighbor's ginormous painting company van that was parked at the edge of my driveway this morning. no damage to his van luckily because i'd HAVE to fix that. but my pretty new car has a dent and a giant scratch clear across the door. and i have about $10 to my name right now, so a $500 deductible is just not happening. i've been upset about it all day. i can only come up with one positive, and it's that instead of running to comfort food as i would have in the past, i actually shunned it altogether. i laid around and slept and watched dumb stuff on tv. i ignored all texts and phone calls, in no mood to see or talk to anyone. finally i got around to looking at facebook and got into a conversation with vanessa about our diets, and that has distracted me enough to not be so miserable. i just got up and ate 4 celery sticks. lol.

i don't know what to talk about tonight, just not in the mood. my ankles and shins still hurt today, so i didn't work out. that is adding to my misery. i feel sloth-like, and i'm also really unhappy about this as the race weekend gets closer. if they still hurt tomorrow i will go do the elliptical i guess. i can't believe how they still feel today. still using compression and ice, and i definitely rested.

i'm depressed about my shape. i'm not brave enough to show you pictures of me in my underwear, but my roll above my belly button is killing me. it pokes out into anything i wear and makes it look bad. i still have to wear shirts a size bigger because of it. i actually started looking up lipo tonight. i'm guessing it's only 3-5 pounds of fat, but it's poking out like a spare tire right in the center of my body. it's really getting me down. i'm so much smaller in width, but front to back is pretty much still a disaster.

sorry this is a downer. not too inspirational. :-(

hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. i'll win the lottery or something. i don't need mega millions, just like $10,000. whoever says money can't buy happiness has never had money. or never had problems.