broken.

i stand before you a broken girl. broken, but not defeated.

it began on friday at the slumber party. i didn't eat too much food, but what i did eat was bad. i had some buffalo chicken dip, crackers, tortilla chips, celery (yay!) and a slice of pumpkin roll. i did pass on the beer and wine, however.

saturday we had thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family at an amish restaurant. it was family style chicken, roast beef, potatoes, noodles, stuffing and so on. instead of that i made a salad at the salad bar. i had 2 bites of my peanut butter pie and took the rest home. still not terrible, right?

well the band played that evening and the bar bought us pizza from the same place that i wrote about last sunday. i had 3 pieces. small, but still. then they started bringing us free alcohol by the truckload. i had 2 bottles of yuengling light and 2 shots of something that had orange juice and grenadine in it. then i topped that off with a 24oz bud light. as we loaded the truck after the show, the leftover pizza appeared and i had another piece. at this point i was officially out of control. the band went to denny's and i didn't even THINK about making a good choice. i had the pumpkin pancake slam - 2 pumpkin pancakes with whipped pumpkin topping, 2 scrambled eggs, 2 pieces of bacon, hashbrowns and 2 pieces of wheat toast with butter. i ate it all except half of the pancakes and a bit of hashbrowns. you're probably thinking this is the end of the evening but no....around 4am i got the rest of my peanut butter pie from the kitchen and ate that too.

gah.

i stayed in bed until 2pm today. i have been spending my nights coughing my head off, thus not really sleeping. i finally got up and showered to clear my lungs a bit, then i went to the gym. i felt groggy, out of it. i started my run and it was bad from the start. every single minute felt excruciating. and for some reason it was 100,000 degrees in the Y and i was sweating like i was in a sauna. i kept telling myself to keep going, but after only about 20 minutes of jogging, i gave up.

after the gym i went to spend my old navy cash, then i picked up some of that vegetarian chili i'd had monday. i ate that with some fiber crackers and hummus, and i had a pear. so i'm somewhat back on track today, but i don't even want to think about the calories i inhaled yesterday. add to that today's spoiled run, my endless coughing fits, and the 5k is in 4 days... i'm a little stressed.

the good news is that i don't feel out of control anymore. i'm ready to eat healthy again, i'm not thinking about things i should eat while i'm going crazy. but we all know how many days it takes to pay for a day of bad choices.

i have to have my old hard drive transferred to the computer i'm using now tomorrow....so if i don't write tomorrow night, it's not because i'm at an all you can eat lard buffet---i'm just without a laptop.

tomorrow is a new week, a new day. i HAVE to be perfect until thursday.