Wednesday, November 2, 2011


it started with cookies. 
every wednesday we have this horrid staff meeting that steals souls with its pointlessness and absurdity. today my boss attempted to make it nicer with gigantic, soft, chewy, chocolate chip cookies from the amish bakery. i was slightly concerned, but after the meeting i had my warm lemon water, then pounded 16oz of green juice. that filled up my belly and i thought, "i've totally got this." the cookies looked good, but i was satisfied by smelling and looking at them. but then the real trouble started.

with a cream cheese layer on top. 
with brownies crumbled on top of that. 
that's right folks. brownies topped with brownies.

these were courtesy of the same girl who brought in the white chocolate chip cheesecakes on monday. you may remember her as evil betty crocker devil woman.

that's when things started to fall apart in my head. this morning the scale stayed on the same number it has been on since monday morning. if i had been on a weight loss high, i think i would have been ok. but i was on a plateau low. it's pretty clear now that i will not hit 30 pounds by friday morning, and i'm pretty disappointed. i'm not pish-poshing the 27.7, but i just REALLY wanted to hit that 30 pound mark.

so i decided the only thing i could do was get out of the building. i invited a friend to lunch at subway. i figured i deserved to eat a meal after walking away from the baked goodness, and i knew i could have a big salad with red wine vinegar at subway for barely any calories. so i had a really nice, fun lunch, and came back to work feeling pretty good about things. i figured by that time they would have demolished the baked goods.

but they hadn't, for they had been distracted from the brownies and

pizza and chicken strips. along with dipping sauces of every flavor. and as i put it on the reboot facebook page, "i am a slut for condiments." it's not unusual for me to find tiny bottles of ketchup, mustard and mayo in my christmas stocking. so chicken strips alone would have been one thing. but chicken strips with buffalo sauce, honey mustard, bbq sauce, garlic sauce, cheese sauce and pizza sauce? oh HELL no! and i'm not a fan of pizza meats, but of course this happened to be a garden veggie works pizza. sigh.

after consulting the papa john's website, i found out i could have one chicken strip for 65 calories and 2.5g of fat. and so i had one. and then i had a 1" x 1" bite of brownie. it was divine.

and then i felt better.

in situations like this, i like to think about what i would have done if i wasn't rebooting. i would have started the day with a giant chocolate chip cookie. 206 calories. then the brownies would have shown up, and i probably would have had 3 during the day. 470 calories. then i would have had at least 4 chicken strips (260 calories) dipped in honey mustard (75) and buffalo (30) and 2 slices of pizza. 560 calories.

i would have consumed 1,601 calories at work today. then i wouldn't have gone to the gym, i would have come home for dinner. and guess what my family had by day's end, i probably would have had around 3,000 calories and no exercise.

instead i had juice, a large salad with tons of veggies, a chicken strip and a bite of brownie, an apple, fresh homemade guacamole, peach mango salsa, kalamata olive hummus, cucumber slices and whole grain pita chips...for around a thousand calories. and that was after an hour long turbo kick class followed by 5k training that left my shirt completely soaking wet.

so while i felt like i failed on the scale this morning, and i felt like i failed by having such intense cravings, and i felt like i failed when i took a chicken strip and a brownie bite....i still succeeded. and if i haven't lost 30 pounds by friday, i will have lost it by next friday. then it's on to the next goal.

a big, special, amazing thank you to the rebooters who talked me off of my ledge today. tony reminded me that if i attacked the food counter in the style of cookie monster, i would have to write "i can't believe i..." on my blog tonight. i know i couldn't have walked away from it without those people on my side.

tomorrow i want to work out about 6 times, but i'll settle for 2. i have a lot of (healthy) food in my belly right now, so there's a chance the scale will be ugly in the morning. that means friday morning is my final hope. then it's off to NYC....

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