Friday, October 28, 2011

black friday

my day began at 4am when i woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. finally i decided i'd go to the YMCA when they opened at 5:30. i arrived at 5:25 to find the fitness crazies lined up at the door like black friday shoppers. when they got the signal from the front desk they rushed to beat the side door line to the keycard entry into the fitness center. 

i grabbed one of my favorite treadmills next to another lady. a few minutes later another woman took the one to my left. the women gave each other a look and shrug of the shoulders. obviously i was an outsider, an unforeseen divide between these workout buddies. they made a big show of talking to each other around me. 

i did my 5k training program, and it went well. this week i walk for 5 minutes, run for 90 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, run for 3 minutes, walk for 2 minutes, then repeat the run/walk intervals, finishing with a 5 minute cool down. 

came home and weighed myself. the scale was the same as yesterday. went back to bed for 2 hours. weighed myself. the scale was down 1.2 pounds. crazy. 

i spent the day thinking about the meal i was going to have tonight. i was 50/50 looking forward to it and dreading the idea of eating something that i knew would damage me. i kept my calorie intake at a minimum all day, then went back to the Y after work for a repeat performance of this morning's training session. it went even better, which made me feel good. 

then i came home and stuffed myself like a macy's balloon. i had a little bit of mashed potatoes and gravy, a smaller bit of cole slaw, and 14.6 pounds of dressing. i couldn't stop. i felt my pants get tight but it just tasted so fricking good! i broke a cookie in half, broke it in half again, and ate that bite. that was the point when i swear i felt my stomach rip apart.

i've spent the rest of the night carrying a food baby around in my stomach. i'm bloated and dying of thirst. i probably took in more sodium tonight than i have in the last 7 weeks combined. in one way it was worth it. i enjoyed it so much, and i felt like i worked hard to earn it with my 2 workouts. but feeling like i feel right now...i don't miss this. i truly feel like i've gained back all 27 pounds in one meal. i want it out of me. 

so...i let my zija "cleansing" tea steep for 30 minutes instead of 10, hoping it will grant me that wish in the morning.'s hoping my wish won't come true right in the middle of zumba. embare. i'd better take a spot near the door. 

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