Tuesday, October 4, 2011

some unknown number of days left

ok. i don't know how many days are left now. some say i shouldn't have added on days when i went to NYC. and this was originally set to end when i go back to NYC the first weekend in november with the band i work for. if that's the target, i have 30 days left. but the longer i do this, the more i know i'm going to have days where i just eat. special occasions, that type of thing. i will do my best to keep it healthy, moderate, infrequent. but it's how i operate. also i don't see me just throwing juice out the window at "the end." there is no end. i want this to be a part of my life forever now. so i'm going to drop the countdown and just "go with it."

so. about today. IT ROCKED. first of all, i couldn't help myself, and i got on the scale a day early. but i'm not telling you until after tomorrow's official wednesday weigh-in. let's just say it made me go "woot-woot!" then, i dressed for work in "real" clothes. i didn't rock my usual hoodie, jeans and kicks. today was dress pants, nice shirt, heels, matching jewelry, and painted nails. my boss said i looked "striking." i felt so good all day. for the first time in a long time i didn't wear a "fat sucker" under my clothes. i didn't muffin-top out of my pants.

since it's zumba day, i treated myself to edamame for lunch. i like having the protein and sodium boost before a workout. i read on the facebook page that one of our friends had a seizure during her juice fast because she was drinking too much water and not taking in enough sodium, so i salted up my soybeans generously. and i don't know if it was the edamame, my good day, or both, but i rocked it pretty hard at zumba and yoga. i felt like i had more energy, more flexibility. and when i did forward bend and downward dog in yoga, my top belly (i have two) didn't push "the girls" up into my face to suffocate me like usual. trust me boys, that's not as much fun as it may seem.

when i got home i was putting some laundry away, and i came across a dress i forgot i had. i tried it on early in the summer and it didn't quite fit, but i really liked it. several months later i saw it was 80% off and even though it still didn't fit, i bought it for $9 just in case i ever lost weight. so tonight i tried it on and it fit! it actually looks pretty great, and i'm going to wear it out this weekend. saturday night a friend from cleveland is coming to town, and she's a total fashionista. i always feel like such a frumpy mcfrumperton around her. well now in this dress, i'll still feel like a large marge (she weighs about 110) but not a frumpster!

it's amazing how in the past few days i have really started to notice so many changes in my body. it's like i crossed some line and now things are moving around and changing. this picture is a person holding 5 pounds of body fat. i have lost more than 3 of those fat logs. and i want to lose about 10 more of them.

this afternoon a friend texted me that she was miserable because her husband bought her some sexy undergarments, and she couldn't get them up over her hips. she said she was "overflowing out of her pajama jeans like a toilet the morning after wing night." i truly felt her pain. i have had SO many more days like hers than days like my own. i hope i can inspire her. i also know that when a close friend succeeds at something you're struggling with, it can cause resentment. i wouldn't blame her if she felt a bit of that, so i have to try to encourage without flaunting.

i know a lot of people reading this are just starting on their juice fasts. all i can say is to hang in there. if you can get through that first week, and then the frustrations, some hunger, some sadness, all sorts of feelings....then you will eventually get to a place where the way you feel is so worth the difficult path you've chosen. keep doing it. i wanted to quit too and some close friends and family said DON'T QUIT. and that was just a week ago. look at the difference between this week and last week for me. you can get here too. but you won't get anywhere if you give up. don't quit.

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