Saturday, October 22, 2011
i've crossed the line
first of all, that picture you see is of size 16 old navy jeans, on my person, buttoned and zipped. do you know how long it's been since i bought a pair of size 16's? long enough that i don't even have them anymore. i gave up on ever being that size again. plus when i WAS that size, it was such a brief time that i probably only had 2 pairs of jeans anyway. now in the interest of full disclosure, these 16's definitely muffin-top me, and i won't be wearing them in public anytime soon. they are my new "inspiration" jeans, since all of my old inspiration jeans fit again. plus they were on sale for $17 and i figured i should snag them now before they're $30 again.
as i shopped today, i felt different. when i'd see my reflection in a store window or in the fitting room mirror, i didn't want to cry. instead of seeing how far i have to go, i could see how far i have come. when i was looking through the racks of clothes, i didn't feel like people were looking at me thinking, "do they even sell her size here? she must be shopping for a gift for someone else." i even tried on a coat at old navy that was too big, and they didn't have the next size down so i couldn't get it. really can't tell you the last time i couldn't buy something because they didn't have it one size SMALLER.
today is the reason why i didn't eat the 6 day old pizza. and it's the reason why i got out of bed this morning at 7:30 and worked out at the gym for 90 minutes. i actually had some pizza last night. brand new, hot, delicious pizza. 2 small pieces. and after i got home from the gym this morning, i weighed less than i did yesterday. that is how you eat pizza...occasionally and in a small helping. then you exercise it away. emotionally i am HAPPY that i had that pizza last night. but imagine how i would have felt if i'd finished that box of gross leftover pizza just because i was sad and bored.
i had every intention of writing a blog last night, but got too sleepy. the subject was going to be how i found out "mcrib is BACK" at mcdonald's and how they have peppermint mochas and pumpkin pies are 2 for $1, and how hard this would make my life. but today....i don't care. if i want a mcrib, i'll have one, not three. not with fries and a shake. but i probably won't have one because it can't possibly taste as good as it felt to come home with a pair of size 16 jeans today. look out, 14's...i'm coming for you next.
now if i could only find a store with an iphone 4s in stock, this would be the best day ever.