Monday, September 12, 2011

54 days left

i may have to change the titles soon because i don't see me lasting 60 days. nor am i sure i need to. i'm starting to think i could do better if i kept the juice in place but added in some whole fruits and veggies too. we will see. i'm going to finish this week, weigh myself, then make a decision.

today was no better or worse than the other weekdays. i wasn't that hungry, but i was craving things. i've learned there is a difference. i kept vacillating between trying not to look at or think of food, and almost fantasizing about it, trying to make myself comfortable with the idea of looking at it, smelling it, hearing about it and knowing it will still be there when i'm ready to adopt a different plan for eating.

my main problem continues to be my dislike for the vegetable juice. it's not so bad i gag on it, but bad enough that i just want to get it over with each time i'm drinking one. i went to robek's today and got a celery-carrot-spinach juice. let someone else do the work, and try a new mixture. it first. then i started to hate it. i got as much in me as i could. it didn't really agree with me, and i felt a little gross for awhile. later in the evening i drank a big, big glass of mean green. tough. i have GOT to figure out what i can drink that tastes good and gives me the nutrition i need. i'm going to try a mean green without celery, maybe that will help.

tomorrow, being my 7th day, i plan to rest. that means i am buying my juice at the store pre-made. naked juice is a good option, it's all natural, just juice. so i'll stop by giant eagle on my way to work for a red, green and blue.

the thing about this diet, eating plan, whatever you want to call it makes time crawl. i feel like day one was FOREVER ago. i really want to see this through until i go to NYC in november with the band i work for. we're all making an effort to lose weight and i think this is my best shot at achieving a noticeable loss by that date. but hearing my family discuss the pizza they'll order this friday, my mom's birthday being on saturday, a trip to new york next weekend....where do i draw my line in the sand?

as usual, i think i just need to sleep and tomorrow i'll feel a new resolve. by 11pm i've usually had all i can take of the juicing. i want this to become "just a way of life" instead of being the thing i think about 24/7. i need a break from thinking about it. i need a break from mean green!

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