i've cried a lot today. not from hunger, but from the many emotional 9/11 tributes i've watched all day, and at my church's service. it made me so thankful to be alive and relatively healthy, and it brought back the memories of that day. yesterday in zumba a lady mentioned that she always spends september 10th doing whatever makes her the happiest, because that was the last day so many people ever had...and we never know which day may be our final chance to live. i plan to adopt that theory on future september 10ths.
as far as the juicing goes, today was a much better day mentally than yesterday. i sat at bob evans and watched others eat their pancakes, french toast, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and coffee...while i enjoyed decaf tea. their food sure looked and smelled good, but i was in a positive mood and felt strong. i'd had an orange/lemon/lime juice before i went. then i went to church and prayed for strength during this fast. there are a lot of references to fasting in the bible and i intend to spend some time studying the subject.
after church i had a mean green and watched some 9/11 coverage. when that got to be too much i decided to watch food inc. on netflix. i had never seen it, but from what i had heard, it would go a long way toward making me not want to eat any animals anytime soon. i was not disappointed. then i watched a documentary my biggest juice supporter/friend/cheerleader debbie told me about called forks over knives. some amazing research has been done into the effects of eating a plant-based diet. cancers and heart diseases prevented and reversed, people able to discontinue medications, drastic reductions in blood sugar and bad cholesterol. the way our food is produced, the chemicals that go into it.... it's amazing our cancer rate isn't 100%.
but let's be honest. my main motivation for this juice fast is to lose weight. i weighed myself this morning and was pleased with the result. but i'm going to wait until it's been a full week before i reveal the number, because i want to give my body a chance to adjust. it could go up or down a couple of more pounds between today and wednesday.
i am concerned about if i'm getting enough calories each day. it has become so hard for me to keep track of exactly what i'm consuming. i make my juice the day before, and i don't always drink everything i make. and other times i make an additional juice after work. i SHOULD be writing down exactly what goes into every batch and trying to count my calories that way, but i'm already so overwhelmed by the shopping, washing, chopping, shoving and cleaning routine. i trust my body to tell me if i need more or less. this morning i felt a little cruddy until i drank a big glass of water at bob evans. i think i just need to focus on making sure i'm getting that 90oz of water in each day along with the juice.
for my fat, sick, and nearly dead reboot readers, i should mention that i've completely discontinued ginger in my mean green. after the day when i'd added too much, i just can't take the sight, smell or taste of it anymore. that seems to be my big problem with all of the veggie-based juices...not the taste, but the smell. i had a very enjoyable spicy v8 type concoction today where i mixed together every savory veggie i had in the fridge. it was pretty good but smelled awful.
i'm happy to be going back to work tomorrow because it's such a nice distraction from the juicing. being at home this weekend and in those social situations was difficult. but i'm really trying to redefine "difficult." firefighters running up 37 floors of a terror-attacked building was difficult. cancer is difficult. the new york times crossword puzzle is difficult. this is about strength, health, and a deep desire to prove wrong all of those people who are probably thinking "she'll never be able to do this." not that i blame them; there are times when i don't think i can do this either.
today is the day you can either prove someone right about your weaknesses, or prove them all wrong. i'm going into tomorrow determined to show them what i'm made of. what are YOU going to do tomorrow?